Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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