CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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