I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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