Acid is not a monday night drug
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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