In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
