I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
