Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
