Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I need to calm my uterus...
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
