Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
