Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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