I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
