On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
