I want to stick my p in your. b.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
