ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
