my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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