These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
