I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
