When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
