I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
