Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize