Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
