Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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