I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Naked Twister starts at high noon
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
