i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
