Already got asked if we're dating
I think my vagina is haunted
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i just had sex bonerless
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
only you would photoshop your dick
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
