I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
