i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
