hell yes lets make some ravioli
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
