I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
