I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Found your dick twin last night
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize