i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
i've created a new STD.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
