I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Randomize