somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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