I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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