I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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