you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize