i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
