If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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