pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
