Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
