anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
