i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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