I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
please come you make the beer taste better
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
