I love black thongs
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
