Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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