It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
