Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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