Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
