Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
