Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
