WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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