Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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