These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
