are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
