I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
