so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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