I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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