I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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