Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
