god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
