Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
So squirting runs in the family.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
