I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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