Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize