He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
