So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
