Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
