She is in my trunk
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
