I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
