every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I look better un-naked...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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