real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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