I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
