Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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