Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
