The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
