Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
