Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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